Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
