i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
