What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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