no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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