I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
