I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
