You're my little dorito
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
