In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
