As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
