Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
