This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
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