You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Quick, to the slutcave!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
