I need help removing her.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
