If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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