I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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