The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
