we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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