Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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