i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Are we still banned from the library?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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