You made me cry and you don't even care
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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