Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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