did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
