The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
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