i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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