my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
A bitchslap is in order.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
