Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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