wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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