Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
