We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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