I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
