we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He passed out mid-signature
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
