Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
