I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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