he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
