Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
