youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
