the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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