carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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