i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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