I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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