I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How does one acquire holy water?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
