Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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