Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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