That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
