Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
