:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
