Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
too bad you live with your parents still
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
