bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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