You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I see more hoeing in ur future
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
