u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
