dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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