i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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