I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
