finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
