I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
