dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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