Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
