A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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