where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
