After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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