They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
