at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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